This passed year has been a whirlwind for me. I first moved back home from UH, I changed majors for the umteenth millionth time, finally figured out what I really wanted to do with my life, advanced really well at work and completely love my job, reconnected with old friends that really meant a lot to me, finally fixed my nose, became more open to meeting people and generally just doing things for me. I used to be such a leader and once I got to high school I kind of started to follow everyone, which just isn't me and up until this year I was really basing everything I did in my life on what certain people thought and wanted. Needless to say, I'm sick of it. I followed somebody to Taylor, I followed somebody on college, I followed somebody to UH, I'm noticing an evil cycle here... I'm honestly very unhappy with where I am. I'm trying to adjust and fix everything and make things better and rework all my mistakes and regrets into a place where I want them and the main problem I can't fix is liking school. I've really given it the best effort I could, but I'm not happy. I'm the girl who loves school and I don't like it at UH. I've met some wonderful friends there and I don't know what I would do without my Hannah and Erica but I'm literally dreading the start of the semester.
This past summer I've spent a lot of time in San Antonio, mostly just to get away. It started off as just an opportunity to escape Houston and to escape all the problems that live here. To go to a place where nobody knew who I was, nobody knew what I had gone through, nobody knew anything about me, where I could just be me and have fun. I ended up... really loving it there. I just felt like myself, like I could just be me, I could go wherever I wanted, I could talk to whoever I wanted to, I could get up early, stay out late, people were super friendly, traffic was lighter, boys wear cowboys boots, listen to country, and its generally just happier there. Ever since high school I wanted to move away from Houston, even just for a bit, to explore, be independent, get away from all the things I had to go through here that weren't always so great. Never did I think that place would end up being San Antonio. I had a list of places, Dallas, Baltimore, New York, but SA, never would've thought. Mostly because I never really gave it a shot, I like the fact that it's right there, it's a quick drive home to my family, but it's like a whole other world over there. It's a big city with everything I would need but it's very small town feeling and homey. I looked up schools there, since I technically just started my dance major it wouldn't be a huge ordeal to transfer YET AGAIN I know, but it's the best time to do it. Unfortunately, no schools in SA have dance, obviously, just Domi's luck, BUT Texas State does, connivently located just north of the city. I actually went to visit and look around the school on Wednesday, it was quite beautiful, instantly I thought REAL COLLEGE! I don't think I could live in San Marcos, college towns don't always agree with me, I think I'm just too mature for it, I would much rather be in San Antonio. Transferring and moving would be an insane decision, crazy, unforeseen, unplanned, but deep down in my heart I really think it may just be the best decision for me right now.
After all I've been through the last 3 or 4 years, I think this is the best choice for my life at the moment. I don't want to seem like I'm running away, I would like to think of it more as I'm growing up and finding my own way. I may not move, I may not end up at Texas State, I may not end up in San Antonio, I don't know whats going to happen. Just debating the idea, I want to talk to my family about it, visit the campus some more, visit San Antonio some more, look at work possibilities, leaving Gymboree is one of the worser things I'd have to do. I know Texas State is the better school, so from an education standpoint it would be the smarter choice, just have to figure this all out and I don't have a whole lot of time to do it. It's pretty much do or die for UH this semester, if I go, I stay, that's it, that's what I'm given to choose from. That being said, I have about a week to figure it out. I don't have to figure out where I'm going to go necessarily, but I will definitely need to figure out whether I will be at UH.
Lovely.
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